@mrdavehill
I hate when stuff is labeled "for external use only." What the f#%k? How about I decide where I can and can't put something for a change?!
@WendyLiebman
I can't have kids according to my lease.
@AlecMapa
I speak French like Miss Piggy, Spanish like Dora, and German like Col. Klink. Who says TV isn't educational?
@ChristFinnegan
Just a reminder: this is NOT a Verified Twitter account. I mean, this could be anybody typing this. Disorienting, isn't it?
@lizzwinstead
Can we just compile the names of all the rightwing homophobes caught with men and call it Larry Craigslist?
@jokesdotcom
Maybe you should follow @fluffyguy's example for #MothersDay and fake your arrest for your mom's amusement/horror.
@lizzwinstead
For the love of all things Holy- Don't hold signs that say you wanna teabag people if you don't want to be called a teabagger. #advice
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